NEW LIFE / NEW ME - AIRBORNE II

[Fartiltre]

WOW – JUST WOW!

The response and support from this page astonishes me time after time – lots and lots of gratitude!

I have been over and over this in my mind – primarily to search for what I want and secondary what will bring me closer to my goal.

I need to point out one thing: Switching one weekend with W means that S10 and Ds won’t see each other for a month! Some TV-show just isn’t reason enough for me to make this happen.

Right now I feel like
1/
Telling W that we can go together but it can only be us and if our present R is worsened at that time I will pull the plug on the trip or go without her.
I will also tell her that I am deeply serious about this and if we suddenly run into some friend of hers I will leave the place with the children and that the Rs state at that time is a totally subjective judgment made by me.
Furthermore that none of these boundaries is meant to “punish” – they are meant to protect the children’s time together and their time with me.

AS is completely right:

I wouldn't go with her unless it's something that you really want to do, but it doesn't sound like it is.

I do NOT feel like doing the trip, but I will have to face this if R is ever to happen. This is in March and if I can’t face W a year after BD then when?
I can’t go here Wonka:

Go on the trip and showcase the new, improved F with humor, silly songs, jokes, etc.

….but I can certainly try to take it some of the way

2/
I will have the children for the rest of the weekend and thereby break the “tradition”
Fly has a good point:

Its time for you to adjust to the new normal, your right some traditions are never going to be the same. Do you see you and your wife attending this music thing together for another 10 years just to keep the tradition alive? hmmm me neither.

...problem is that I think (mindreading) that W see this differently. She want business as normal - just without me
But then again: Now this is about me and my children.

3/

That said, I think that they way your W presented it - insinuating that you would not be allowed to have the kids on your birthday if you didn't give her what she wanted - was not cool, but let's just give her the benefit of the doubt for the moment.

I will ASK her if she is serious about me not having the children for my birthday and if she is using this as a trade.
If so I will also tell her that pulling the birthday as a trade doesn’t seem acceptable to me and that I would like for us to talk through how this shall/will work in the time to come.


I feel ready for the talk – many thanks to all of you!

I will post after the talk!

F