Informal Poll: Onset of MLC

[LoisB]

I'm struggling with this one. There weren't any deaths.

Smokey lost out on a big job promotion in 2009-2010? He was devastated. He worked at the same job for 15 years and was a really good employee. When a promotion came up, he was overlooked for someone outside the organization--and this person who was hired was lousy. The guy they hired relied on H to do both H's job and the supervisor job. It was horribly unfair. Around the same time, our house nearly foreclosed. That promotion would have been a God send.

There were other jobs where H lost out, unfairly, and this one really got to him. I was so sad for him.

In addition, our youngest daughter was having serious problems and resisting going to school. We struggled with 3+ hours a day of Autism meltdowns. Very stressful.

Within the year, she was diagnosed with Asperger's and H had a big problem with this diagnosis. He was always "busy" and unable to attend dr appts--he didn't even come when the doc told me the diagnosis. It was my problem to fix--according to Smokey.

And, our oldest was hitting adolescence at full speed--nasty boyfriend and had sex and all that fun stuff--her heart was broken.

Around this time, H really reached out to me to get a job and "rescue" him. I think he looked at me as having the key to saving his happiness. I can see now how I dropped the ball. He needed me and I was too absorbed in our youngest daughter and oldest daughter and trying like he!! to keep our kids from spinning outta control. I didn't give my husband the help he needed from me.

Still, I think that, even if I had given him what he wanted, he "needed" me to be his excuse so he could lose himself in his drug and remain stuck in his own quaqmire of issues.

Heather