F, you're going to have many, many such negotiations in the future. You give, you take. Such is life among s'd or d'd coparents. I think your W is being a bit unreasonable in the way she's presenting it, she's presenting it more as a demand than a request. That said, I think if you refuse then she's going to "punish" you by not letting you see them on your bday. It sounds like you didn't have any firm plans that weekend anyway, so I would suggest letting her have them but clearly stating "OK, you can have them on X dates if I get them on Y dates, we'll swap those two weekends". I wouldn't go with her unless it's something that you really want to do, but it doesn't sound like it is.
