It was the best of times it was the worst of times

[KdogGS]

Updated response email- short and simpler, still got some good validation, no retirement account talk

Hello W,

I understand that you do not feel it is appropriate nor can think of an appropriate manner to share your feelings with me at this time. I appreciate your commitment to continue discuss these matters in a civil manner moving forward. If at any time in the future you do think of an appropriate manner, or feel like sharing your feelings with me or towards me, I want you to feel free to do so without fear of repercussions. I will just listen or read.

I am really sorry to hear about the car dying on you. I promise that I had no issues with it during the 3+ months that I had it after the battery dying on September 9th and no indication before I gave it back to you that anything was potentially wrong with it other than the age and mileage. I also understand that after a really long day at work, that is a very terrifying and extremely frustrating experience. I understand that finding a new vehicle will add to your list of upcoming expenses, I hope you find something that works for you and is reliable.

As far as focusing on the numbers, I am trying to do that because I think that numbers are objective and fair. In my opinion, they give a clear view of what each of us brought in, what we accumulated/spent together, and what would be proportionate to leave with. The reason I am trying to use numbers is because I, like you, am also very emotional and hurt. We have each broken our vows to each other, albeit in different ways. I agree with your statement from your "blunt email" that we both feel deceived for different reasons as well, and that both of our dreams are shattered right now. For these reasons, I am trying to leave as much emotion out of figuring all of this out as I can. What are your thoughts on that? I want to make sure we are on the same page regarding the best way to divide things fairly and unemotionally as possible.

Regarding the house- when you say " Selling the house right now would be a wash (any profit going towards closing costs and realtors)." can you give me your breakdown and thought process on what that means to you? I want to make sure I understand what you mean there, I was under the impression there would be a minimum of $20k to a max of $40k depending on selling price in equity leftover after all closing costs and such.

Thank you for getting copies of the dental receipts, I appreciate that and will need them as tax time steadily approaches.

Also, a letter arrived addressed to both of us from Mr. John Hughes in St. Louis, MO. He addressed it to our old El Cajon address. I have not opened it as I figure it is for you. It is in the garage on the gray tote, feel free to pick it up at your leisure.

I did end up talking to Charlie one evening, and he mentioned that the day you picked up the mail, he wasn't sure it was you. He did not recognize you since he only talked to you the couple of times, he said you looked different than before. He said that is why he was watching you. I did not tell him you felt uncomfortable or anything, just said you might be stopping by occasionally to get mail.

Respectfully,
H