have you looked at working from home? I had a job taking calls from home when D was at school. I think it was Apptical and you asked questions to people who were applying for life insurance. Easy work and it was 11.00 an hour and they paid to train you.
Just a thought.
H-44 Me-43 D9 T-13 years M-12 years BD-8/21/13 Sep- 11/19/13 D in process
have you looked at working from home? I had a job taking calls from home when D was at school. I think it was Apptical and you asked questions to people who were applying for life insurance. Easy work and it was 11.00 an hour and they paid to train you.
tbh, yes I have thought of that and looked into some of those. I didn't realize any of them actually paid $11 an hour consistently. Did you have to pay "self employment tax" (FICA, SSI) yourself when you worked for the place you worked? It looked like the ones I came across all label you a contractor, so then you end up paying what would normally be the employer portion of those taxes which means effectively you are making less than the listed wage.
That is something I will think about more seriously, now that I know someone who did it and actually got paid. I was a little skeptical.
me-35 WAS-37 T-16 1/2 Son-14 (HF Aspergers) BD,ILYBINILWY,"I met my soulmate": Oct5,2013 "Letting go because I love him, holding on because I love him."
Having read golf moms posts, do you have all the necessary documentation you need to start divorce proceedings? Have you protected yourself as far as you can?
I am not suggesting you go out and divorce the man, but it is better to be prepared.
Kate we are not legally married and common law is not recognized here. So there is no "divorce". I can apply for child support and that is it, and it would be less than he currently pays toward the mortgage which he "intends to pay even if he stops living here."
me-35 WAS-37 T-16 1/2 Son-14 (HF Aspergers) BD,ILYBINILWY,"I met my soulmate": Oct5,2013 "Letting go because I love him, holding on because I love him."
How far is the nearest real (i.e. chain, union) grocery store? Could you bike to it? If you could get a job as a checker, at least that is a union job with reasonable support.
There are free online courses where you could brush up your skills in these areas. These would be things you could do from home, and do as side jobs once you get a regular job, to boost your income. Why not set it as a goal right now to improve your skills in these areas over the next two weeks? You could do book-keeping and website management remotely, so that you are not so limited to jobs just in your geographical area.
Are there any simple craft items you could sew and sell online? I'm thinking about a super-simple bag for baking potatoes in the microwave that my mom bought once. Try to think of something unique and very easy to sew? Poke around on Etsy to get some inspiration?
Another question - what aspirations did you have, before they got derailed by caring for your son? What did you dream of doing? What would you do now if you knew you couldn't fail?
KML, I am a step ahead of you on the grocery store, it is a 12 minute walk. I applied back in late October and keep going back into their Kiosk every 30 days to "update" my application and keep it active in their system. I had already come to the conclusion that the grocery store job is the best of the options I have within walking distance. I have also applied at a coffee shop, pizza place, and Mexican Restaurant. (Several other places are not currently hiring, but I went in and asked anyways just to see if they would give me an application)
I will think about working on the skills, but I am not sure how you go about building a client base for something like that.
I could probably sew something like bags. I have actually sewn some pretty cool stuff, it just takes me forever. I had thought about selling children's costumes or something like that on Etsy. It just seems like there is SO much competition on there, it's a bit intimidating. And you do have to spend money to make money in a sense doing craft stuff because of the materials involved.
Aspirations... well, I intended on being a Biology major with possibly a minor in Education, but that was before I took College Chemistry and had to drop it early in the semester for fear of failing. When I was younger I thought I wanted to be an artist or a journalist. I know it probably sounds silly... but I have never really thought that much about what I would want to "do" for a job... just that I wanted it to be something positive and constructive and GOOD. I don't want to foreclose on people's homes or harass them to pay their bills for a living.
me-35 WAS-37 T-16 1/2 Son-14 (HF Aspergers) BD,ILYBINILWY,"I met my soulmate": Oct5,2013 "Letting go because I love him, holding on because I love him."
I guess in a basic sense I like HELPING people. So customer service is a good fit, as long as the company I worked for was actually interested in providing good service.
I enjoy working with kids in small groups and one on one. Sometimes though I think I would not be cut out to be a teacher... the class sizes are getting to be so big, the environment is so much more stressful, and there is a lot more to the job than I realized back when I was a high school student going into college.
me-35 WAS-37 T-16 1/2 Son-14 (HF Aspergers) BD,ILYBINILWY,"I met my soulmate": Oct5,2013 "Letting go because I love him, holding on because I love him."
Tiger, it seems that you are doing all the right things in terms of job search. I hope something will come up soon. Is there any way to negotiate for you to have a car? It would give a lot more freedom.
Would you also be eligible for spousal support? Sorry, if you already answered this question.
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
You are in a very precarious position. Why are you waiting for the sky to fall?
I see that you are scared H will leave and stop paying bills, leave you with no place to go.
This is within your power to change. Find out exactly how much child support and figure out what you need to live, you and S.
If you cannot support you and S, if H wants custody, that will not be in your favour.
Sell some stuff, talk to a lawyer to find out EXACTLY what your options are.
Maybe an option would have to be moving back home. S is fifteen and I realize he has developmental delays and I know Kids on the AS don't respond well to change, but things are going to change anyway..they already have,
You are a strong, wonderful mother and person.you can indeed do this.
have you looked at working from home? I had a job taking calls from home when D was at school. I think it was Apptical and you asked questions to people who were applying for life insurance. Easy work and it was 11.00 an hour and they paid to train you.
tbh, yes I have thought of that and looked into some of those. I didn't realize any of them actually paid $11 an hour consistently. Did you have to pay "self employment tax" (FICA, SSI) yourself when you worked for the place you worked? It looked like the ones I came across all label you a contractor, so then you end up paying what would normally be the employer portion of those taxes which means effectively you are making less than the listed wage.
That is something I will think about more seriously, now that I know someone who did it and actually got paid. I was a little skeptical.
I think I was an employee (it's been a while) if you work more than 29 hours. They were trying to get benefits, etc.
H-44 Me-43 D9 T-13 years M-12 years BD-8/21/13 Sep- 11/19/13 D in process
I think I was an employee (it's been a while) if you work more than 29 hours. They were trying to get benefits, etc.
Thanks, I am going to do the application for them tonight.
BF: I don't qualify for spousal support, we are not actually married, no common law recognition either.
Kate: I don't think I am waiting for the sky to fall. I think I am starting with the easiest things on the list and going from there. A job is number one for me right now. And my child support would end up being less the the mortgage payments on the house. In my case letting H pay for the house instead of better, and in a sense I think the "I'll pay for the house" is maybe even a bit of a "tell" on his part... that he doesn't really see himself moving out, that he wants/needs the security of this place to come home to when his "OW thing" ends.
Maybe I am putting too much faith in the strength of H's desire NOT to send his son away to live in a different state, which is likely what would happen if he didn't pay to keep us in this home. Really, if H stops paying the mortgage down the road, then I will STILL have the option to move. I am not going to uproot my son preemptively to make a point. H has been very clear that he does not want son and I to move out. I also broached the subject that he might prefer it if I moved and son stayed here with him, but that I didn't see H willing to step up and be the primary caregiver to son and I didn't forsee son choosing to stay with him if given the option. H simply stated again that he does not want or expect me to move out of this home.
me-35 WAS-37 T-16 1/2 Son-14 (HF Aspergers) BD,ILYBINILWY,"I met my soulmate": Oct5,2013 "Letting go because I love him, holding on because I love him."
Rough day yesterday. I was kind of a b*tch. Sent him some messages and notes. Did get some roundabout confirmation of his opinion on some things. Like that he DID love me. That he DID like spending time with me. That he DID like spending time with son. That he does not want son and I to move out of the house (I mentioned it seemed like maybe his controlling techniques were meant to pressure me into moving away so then he could have the house to himself). That he feels like he DID work on the relationship, (I pointed out that I do now recognize some of the efforts he made, but I have learned enough now to understand why those efforts didn't really work... namely that he was doing it onesided, without actually communicating the problem to me and us constructively thinking about solutions together). That he did not spend our entire R together looking for an opportunity to get out of it. he really does feel that what happened was a fluke that he did not forsee. (I did point out he made a series of decisions leading up to the BD that put him in a position for the "fluke" to occur... that consciously or subconsciously he was pushing a boundary with his decisions and should have probably realized what "might" happen given the opportunity.)
I did get to go grocery shopping and to buy pet food with one of his cards. He even told me the pin number for it, which I didn't previously know. He didn't pre-approve the list.
Also noticed that since the other day when I saw a travel mug in the car with OW's lipstick stain on the spout and pointed out that was "evidence" as we agreed should not be brought into the home or left around in the car... he has been taking a mug from home to use. I appreciate that change.
Today was dim. Letting him just absorb what was said yesterday. After accusing me yesterday of "trying to force him out of his den" ... he worked from home this morning and then spent the afternoon playing games on his computer. Based on the kinds of things he is hooting and cheering, I think it is a game he had previously "given up" so he had more time for the OW situation... probably a game he had used as escape/diversion before he entered replay and got a shiny new OW.
So, I dunno. Maybe reversion back to the game means other replay activities are losing their appeal. He has suddenly been skating less too this past week or two. Might not mean anything, just that he is bored.
I do like the game much better than the OW, if I had to choose one. :P
me-35 WAS-37 T-16 1/2 Son-14 (HF Aspergers) BD,ILYBINILWY,"I met my soulmate": Oct5,2013 "Letting go because I love him, holding on because I love him."
