Happy Talk, Real Talk

[Mimi00]

Before BD I had questions written similar to the ones you exampled....after BD I scrapped them because they seemed more like obvious "getting to know you" questions and could help in my WAS feeling like we dont know each other ( our C gave us a quiz during one of our sessions that had questions like "do you know your S's favorite color/movie....or do you know their core life beliefs") I did well on my quiz about my H....my H did terrible; mainly because I dont do "favorites", but he didn't see it that way...he saw it as he didn't know me.

After BD instead of those types of questions, I became more aware of things I saw on TV or read that reminded me of my H and I made a note of it for when we did talk....so I could bring up the subject and have a fun or intellectual discussion. For example my H works in the medical field...there was a news report on surgeons who auction off their services online for a much lower cost then going through the hospital. I brought it up in one of our conversations naturally when my H was talking about work.

Sorry for rambling...but yes what you are feeling is normal...so if you do it, I'd say be natural about it....and try to key in on her interests more than "what would you do if you could..." type questions that may help put ideas in her head...if you get what im saying.