I sent H an e-mail yesterday with the contacts he requested. He replied back this morning with “Thanks, Bright, I appreciate it”. I don’t even know why I report it here. There is nothing in it.
It seems that he is driving to the vacation home today. I thought there would be more partying in his home town. Maybe his friends were busy and didn’t have time for him.
I know that he’s withdrew a large sum of money from his account. I think he is intending to stay at the vacation home until next spring. He is gearing up for a party life again. He sounded very content and happy on the phone the other day. I’m sure he is excited about this life. There is no room for me, he is not missing me. He is going to do what he did last year, party and have fun, and this is the life he wants. I feel like a failure. Like I never existed before. Like all his previous life with me was just miserable, and he finally realized that this is what he wanted. I feel like I was used to reach his dream (vacation home) and then I was discarded. Why do I still give any sh!t about this man? What is wrong with me? Maybe my GF and my sister are right and I need to cut the cord. Will it set me free?
Job, I understand your relieve when your divorce was final. Your H was a crazy MLCer. In my case it all looks so amicable, that it almost makes me sick. Sometimes I wish he would be a monster MLCer and had an OW already, so it would be easier for me to end it. I always remember “be careful what you wish for”, so I stop myself from thinking like that. But, there has to be something that will propel me forward and stop all this misery I’m experiencing right now.
Yes, I need to stop talking to my GF and my sister. I just feel so lonely sometimes. I post here and I don’t get any replies for days sometimes. Maybe I’m wining too much, idk. I’m very grateful to you, job, for posting on my thread. Your advice is always very valuable and I feel supported.
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
