AnotherStander advised that I come to this board.... My divorce was finalized in June of 13 but apart for over a year. I believe my healing is finally coming alone quite nicely. I got a life and moved on.. Our divorce didn't end well and all ties were severed unless there was a question or two via email. I managed to move forward by changing my name back to my maiden and started dating (which was/is bumpy). I was reconnected with a high school sweetheart, our friendship is long distance but I enjoy our talks and visits... yet I find myself drifting off thinking about my ex.. it's been about more than year now.
A couple of weeks ago his father reached out and asked me out to dinner. Where we talked he talked mostly about the ex and I listened and then he asked if I was planning on getting married soon... I thought it was odd, but blew it off. He said that he and the ex's mom are praying for a reconciliation still, I thought how odd, we're divorced how can we be reconciled.
Fast forwarding to last week.. out of nowhere, I receive a text from the ex!! He asked to meet for lunch. I agreed but was clueless about what it was about. The lunch went well, we laughed and talked like nothing ever happened. He told me that he wasn't seeing anyone and it came as such a surprised I just changed the subject. He asked if he could take me out again and I said we'll see. I was so surprised about all of this, but realized how excited I became in the days after. I began thinking about him more and more. We text a bit yesterday about our rival football teams.. for a good laugh but that's it. I realized that I still love him and would love to see him, but I don't know what the rules are at this point. Can someone help/guide when dealing with your ex after divorce. Everyone says that he wants me back now but I just don't see how that could be since he filed for divorce and didn't want to try and work it out (counseling, etc.). My friends say forget about him and move on.. but in my heart I know if there's a possibility I would go for it.... but I don't want get my heartbroken yet again.
Heartbroken5 Me:38|H:40 Together: 10 years Married:5 BD: May 2013 No children
Don't make yourself readily available to him. When he calls, tell him you have plans. Don't say what they are. See how serious he is first.
Never throw yourself at him just because he suddenly decides he wants to test things out with you. You don't know his motives anyhow. He could be just looking for a booty call until he finds someone else. You don't want to be that.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Sorry if I wasn't clear in my post, but I was just suggesting that you read through the threads here in Piecing to see what others went through as they were transitioning into piecing in their R's. I wasn't saying you should stop posting in Newcomers. Please feel free to post in either location, you'll probably get more traffic on your thread if you stay in Newcomers though
