Sarcasm/catty is often times veiled anger and passive aggressive. And I should know, I used to think sarcasm was the highest art form of humor.
Hhhmmm. I never thought of it this way, but this is so true! I have often used sarcasm when I was angry but didn’t want to “start a fight” or when I wanted to get back at H without seeming like I was.
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Which begs the question, what is the MOTIVE behind the sarcasm/catty?
So, I would say that I probably use sarcasm, in regards to my H, as a way to say something hateful but seem like I’m joking. Not a nice thing to do now that I think about it.
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Do you have an idea defined for who you want to be, even if not complete?
Thanks to uR, I have been writing down notes on the kind of person that I want to be. I don’t want to be catty or snide. I don’t want to be mean or hateful. I want to be kind, nice, forgiving, compassionate, happy, joyful, content, thankful, honorable…filled with grace, strength, and peace. For a start. LOL.
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I've become more quiet, more introspective....slower to react...and I feel like I'm constantly stuffing my own feelings down so that I don't overreact to something. Is this ok? Or unhealthy? I'm not sure yet.
Being a Mr. Spock type myself, and years of martial arts training, I can't see where the bold above is a problem...
But how does that feel? Do you feel more in control of you? Does it work to slow down the reaction, maybe it avoids having to do damage control after the fact? Is that valuable to you?
It actually feels pretty good! I feel way more in control! I feel like I’m becoming someone that handles her anger/hurt in a more respectable way. It is way less damaging to me, to H, to our kids, to our M. I used to overreact to everything. It feels way better to be better in control of that. So, why am I questioning it? Ugh.
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When you stuff the feelings of the moment down, do you still acknowledge them, maybe tell them you will attend to them later, at a better time than the present? And do you follow through and attend to them later?
I do sometimes go back and think on those feelings that I stuffed down…and am often surprised to find that once the initial feeling has passed…it’s really not that important anymore.
Maybe it just feels strange to me to let so many things go because the “old” me would have reacted to each feeling/thought. The “new” me is much less reactive.
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Just some questions and thoughts, I am going through another cycle of all that up there ^^^. I'm asking myself along with you...
