It sounds really corny but I think there is a little boy inside my head still that doesn't feel like he is.
I think it is incredible that as I endeavor to be the best father to my new family that it is helping me tackle the biggest question in my life.
It is almost like I am reparenting myself.
F@cking weird!
Weird. I feel like its not reparenting as much as it is rewiring or taking ourselves off autopilot. The programming that we have been given by our parents and others is what sets our course. We have become "aware" at this point. It has become our decision to rechart that course. Disengage autopilot and start flying our own plane.
Nothing about what you've said feels corny. In my shoes, it feels very real. I'm discovering a boy that never was loved or validated the way he needed to be. He was loved, but not the way he needed it. He became a man that didn't know how to communicate his love needs. He became a man that found that approval and worthiness at work and other places. I never felt worthy in my M and didn't know how to communicate it to W.
Reprogramming, rewiring, reparenting. Filling up life's toolbox. Picking up new skills. That's the work.
Both 40 T-22 M-18 S13 S11
Bomb, ILYBINILWY-7/10/13 EA #1-confirmed 7/10/13, ongoing since 5/13 EA #2-9/13/13
