Wife Said She's Done

[adinva]

Being like a good friend is very compatible with detachment. Detachment is simply allowing her to have her feelings without letting her feelings dictate yours. You can feel good about yourself and positive about your life, even if you feel empathy that she is unhappy.

Why aren't you feeling good about your 180s? If you've made a decision to improve yourself, then it's going to really ring false if you would consider improving yourself a little less enthusiastically so that she won't think you're just trying to win her back. I can't even say that without getting all twisted up. You control exactly zero percent of what she thinks. She may have liked you better when you were your old way, she may get mad that you're improving while she's floundering, she may get mad that you're faking improvements, she may get mad that she's burned her bridges and wishes she hadn't but has too much pride to come back, she may be happy that you're doing so fine without her so she can move on. Those are just a few very likely possibilities. Would any one of them cause you to choose your old ways? I hope you say no. The answer is, don't do anything in hopes of getting her to think something, just do the right things to be who you should be. And FEEL GREAT ABOUT THAT!!!!