Wife Said She's Done

[OneDay]

Hey everyone, I need to ramble a bit, hope you guys dont mind

So I went to see a D-attorney yesterday. I couldn't actually believe I was in an D-attorney's office. (also how much this is going to cost) Being in the attorney office really nailed home the fact that my wife truly wants a D. I knew it, she said it, I receive paper, but I didn't want to believe it. I still dont want to believe it. I still have hope, but keep telling myself no expectations.

When I returned home last night (later than usual) I did not mention where I went, nor did she ask where I have been, So I just left it at that. I did just find out she injured her jaw "again" at work a few weeks ago. I had no Idea she got injured or that she was in this much pain until last night. I was friendly and compassionate with her, offered a few suggestions and asked if there was anything I could do to help. I found it kind of odd that she wouldn't tell me. My guess is she is trying to be TOUGH, which would be like her, especially considering the circumstances.

Also, Im not feeling very well about my 180's and changes today. Im not faking them and I making these positive changes for myself. You see, my 180's and changes are sooo different (especially the drinking) that how I use to act/interact that Im afraid W is thinking Im making all this $h#t up to try and win her back. I don't feel I'm going overboard in anything and I'm being happy and upbeat when Im home. (atleast im trying to be) I've been listening and keeping eye contact with W, asking questions etc. I dont txt, email, call and neither does she.

I also realized that her small talk she has been making with me is more business like than I wanted to believe (its mainly focused on the kids, christmas presents, christmas plans, pick up times, work schedules etc) Now, every once in awhile its normal talk, and I get the Hi, how was your day, or thank you for... but no more normal than you would talk with your neighbor.

I've been going shopping quite a bit for myself. I've lost sooo much weight and im in the best shape (since I've been married) that nothing fits or looks good anymore. Went from a 36"w to a 32"w. I've got a few new shorts, jeans, shirts, boxers, shoes, socks, cologne etc. I feel and look like a new man. Other than that Im still working on GAL, but most of my friends are married with kids and dont really go out. We go fishing sometimes, but that is not a new hobby for me.

I think I already said this before, but I'm having a lot of trouble detaching. Im kind of being like a good friend to her (is that what I'm suppose to be doing?)