Funny the words of affirmation are his LL. However, he doesn't like to give. Funny because I though you did to others what you would like them to do to you?? H said one time. I shouldn't have to say the house looks good/clean it should just be done. As I am writing this I can hear his grandfather talking...he was raised by him..so I guess GF didn't affirm and H wanted needed it but has learned not to give??
M15 T19 D13 S13 BD Affair 9/13 S 11/13 D started 6/14.. dropped court date 10/14 H attorney can't get it together. Still with long distance ow. Still hates me.
The biggest 180 for me is NOT ASKING QUESTIONS!! and not fighting. Although fighting isn't hard if we don't talk I am sure he aware of that..
M15 T19 D13 S13 BD Affair 9/13 S 11/13 D started 6/14.. dropped court date 10/14 H attorney can't get it together. Still with long distance ow. Still hates me.
The biggest 180 for me is NOT ASKING QUESTIONS!! and not fighting. Although fighting isn't hard if we don't talk I am sure he aware of that..
M15 T19 D13 S13 BD Affair 9/13 S 11/13 D started 6/14.. dropped court date 10/14 H attorney can't get it together. Still with long distance ow. Still hates me.
H and I are going shopping for D/S for Christmas on Sunday. Originally H wanted me to give him a list of things and he would pick them up (in my mind why not give him the whole list that would be a DREAM, ha ha). I was shocked when he said we could do it together. Baby steps.
Earlier we got in a little disagreement about texting. I sent H a text and H though he replied to it and didn't and then said something about another text. Which was read by him incorrectly. This has been an issue, so much can be misconstrued in texts. I said I didn't want to text any more because it seems to cause problems. H said what am I supposed to do call you then? I said I don't know I guess? H then said we might as well hurry up and get divorced then...I later asked what that meant. He said so we don't have to talk??? I guess if we are not filed/divorced then we can still talk? Then this morning is when he said we could shop together?? Another day in the life of......keep swimming!!
M15 T19 D13 S13 BD Affair 9/13 S 11/13 D started 6/14.. dropped court date 10/14 H attorney can't get it together. Still with long distance ow. Still hates me.
He doesn't have to be nice and get because he doesn't want to get back together. Hmm then later on H said we just weren't on the samw page. H meant to try to work it out for us. H said we can try to get along for the kids......
H said since the kids seem to be having difficulty with the split when I get the insurance we can take them to counseling. I said that's a little hypocritical you would never go to counseling with me. He said that's because I never wanted to work on our marriage.
I really think since we cant get along and there is so much anger between us we 1. Shouldn't go shopping together. 2. Spend Christmas day together. H said we got along well on Thanksgiving. I said yes because I spent the day in my room!
M15 T19 D13 S13 BD Affair 9/13 S 11/13 D started 6/14.. dropped court date 10/14 H attorney can't get it together. Still with long distance ow. Still hates me.
"He doesn't have to be nice and get because he doesn't want to get back together"
"H said we can try to get along for the kids......"
Don't for a second think this isn't true in his mind. He only wants to get along for the kids sake right now, that's it.
Your responses are just confirming his leaving. Your trying to put your control stamp on his actions. Your not really listening to what he's saying, your trying to take everything with a grain of salt but spin it into that he's trying in some way. He's not.
With your title, and the info from your previous thread, he's getting his needs met in other ways right now, and your "hypocrite" comments are really making it easy for him to see things aren't going to change much.
Are you being the person only a fool would leave right now? Or do you think your coming off nagging, clingy, controlling to him?
It sounds like you need some distance cause your still trying so hard to defend/protect yourself. Your like me, not a natural DB'er maybe? It takes a LOT of work, and we still mess it up many the time.
You keep ripping off your own Band-Aid. There is no mystery, your not working on you, your still stuck on working on "us". Maybe a change of mindset is in order.
It took me a long time to come to terms with the idea my marriage was over, dead, done. She's gone. She's was having at least an EA, and some of my totally uncharacteristic (clingy, begging, defending myself) actions put her into a full PA.
I want so hard for you to understand I think your doing the same thing right now. Your pushing him further away right now.
I know this is very raw for you, your in emotional turmoil, and now with the holidays it feels so much worse at times.
One thing is true that he said too, he doesn't have to be nice, be thankful he is. There is a lot of people that would be thankful for the interactions your having. Don't take them for granted, who knows how many more you will get.
You so pegged me!!! Yea, I'm my own worst enemy! And a bad DBer. I thank you for all you sad and am going to start AGAIN! UGH..
I tried to read your sitch but could find it. How are you doing with yours?
M15 T19 D13 S13 BD Affair 9/13 S 11/13 D started 6/14.. dropped court date 10/14 H attorney can't get it together. Still with long distance ow. Still hates me.
H came over to get the kids. Seems in good mood but very tired. It was going to be an 1 1/2 hrs until he had to drop D13 @ gymnastics. He was trying to figure out what they should do as he didn't want to go home and then back into town. I said they said they wanted to. H said that would be fine. H said a couple of times I tired he was and I said why don't you just take a nap you have about 45 minutes. So he did. Then they left. Good visit no drama.
M15 T19 D13 S13 BD Affair 9/13 S 11/13 D started 6/14.. dropped court date 10/14 H attorney can't get it together. Still with long distance ow. Still hates me.
1.5 hours, is a perfect opportunity to get YOU out of the house.
I don't care what you do, drive around, go to the library, go to the mall, get out of the house. A chance to be mysterious??? Don't come back until after your sure he's gone. Let him wonder a little bit, it works wonders for your PMA even if he doesn't ask. Fake it till you make it girl!!!
Thanks and I did leave..only to grocery store but he didn't know. He was asleep when I left and didnt tell the kids where I was going.
M15 T19 D13 S13 BD Affair 9/13 S 11/13 D started 6/14.. dropped court date 10/14 H attorney can't get it together. Still with long distance ow. Still hates me.
