WE talk a lot abut detachment. I read a post I wrote that someone else reposted and it was about fear and detachment. We have to overcome fear in order to be detached. There are no steps to detachment other than to overcome fear. There are things you can do to help but until you can face your life fearlessly, we're stuck
We stay attached because we're afraid of life without that other person. I know I wasn't detached until I was able to look at my life realistically and realize, not so bad. Actually pretty d@mn good.
But I had to overcome a lot of fear to get there.
I need to stencil this on my forehead, bug. And I am glad that you articulated it so well in such a short paragraph.
Not to hi-jack, but I am still toting around a huge bag of fear....fear that I am missing my son's life, fear of being alone, fear that XW will find someone else and ride off happy into the sunset with that person and my son while I remain alone...I could go on. And that is why I am STILL not detatched enough. Granted, I think I am more so than I was intially - but I'm still not where I want to be just yet.
Notwithstanding, I am glad you handled your situation well -- it's good to be able to feel growth and know that the "old you" would have handled a situation in a less-than-ideal manner.
Crimson
Those fears put you in a loss position, and imagine the type of attention you accumulate being in that type of mindset.
