I think I was afraid of losing him. Pushing him further away. Like ever step I took has to be carefully planned in case this one step pushed him away for ever.
Now I'm just staying true to me. I live my life for me and the kids. If that pushes him away then that's what's meant to be.
M32 H37 DD1 6 DD2 5 M6 T10 EA 31.08.13 Separated and H moved out 19.09.13 ILYBINILWY 23.09.13 OW 11.13
We are all really brave women when you think about it.
Went to see The Hobbit the other day. One of my students is reading it. I keep seeing how I can identify with Bilbo. I sat for a long time. Then, Gandalf comes along and I end up going on this dangerous journey. I face demons and orcs and all sorts of bad stuff.
Being brave sometimes means letting go of what is comfortable, what is known, people who keep us stuck???? IDK. I'm just thinking out loud.
I do know you are Awesome and will find YOUR way in all of this.
Much Love,
Heather
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
10 year anniversary today......he's coming to we the kids. I needs to chat about Christmas plans....I'm not looking forward to it. I don't want what he wants and he doesn't want what the kids want.....
I've had a rough few days. Very emotional. But feeling better. A wise person told me to work on my fear, so that's what I'm doing.
I can live without him. I'm actually living without him. I'm happier without him. I'm looking after myself. The kids have stability. I need to build my new life after Christmas. New job needed. New house needed.
I come first now. I'll always have the kids best interest at heart but they can't always have everything they want if it will harm me. I'm their constant and I need to be happy to keep them happy. This isn't selfish, it's building a sustainable future.
My H has to build his own support network now. I'll always be there for him but I can't put him first anymore. It's harming me. It can't any longer.
I suspect he has the OW on the go again too, so I need to step back. His journey, his choice, none of my business.
This girl is moving on!
The first step is the hardest. You sound great.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
And now we have confirmation that H is dating. It's an old friend from his sporting days. Yesterday I was devastated. Today I'm getting on with my life.
Ouch it hurts. I feel almost as confused as he does. But let's remember the serenity prayer. I accept I can't change this. But I can change how I react to this and I know the difference between the two. His life his choice. My life my choice.
M32 H37 DD1 6 DD2 5 M6 T10 EA 31.08.13 Separated and H moved out 19.09.13 ILYBINILWY 23.09.13 OW 11.13
CC, I'm sorry to hear the news that he's dating an old friend. However, you've got a great attitude about your situation and I applaud you for it. Live your life to the fullest.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
CC, I just confirmed that H is 'dating' too. I say 'dating' cause he's broke so I imagine it's the dollar menu and sex. It does hurt! I'm glad you are choosing to not react and get on with your life. That's what I'm doing too and it feels nice not to react to everything they do.
H-44 Me-43 D9 T-13 years M-12 years BD-8/21/13 Sep- 11/19/13 D in process
