Divorce on the table, Hoping for miracle

[NeedingMore]

Groov,

I do not know what to say, other than this made me cry. I am sure it is because I can identify with all of the things that you expressed.

Did your coach give you things to say or guidance on this LR letter?

Maybe you should not say the part about how painful this is for you. I am not sure, but this could make her feel bad. The "painfully opened my eyes" part is good though. I really feel that this has come from the heart and is written from a place of true love.

I must say, I know you have to be humble in this letter. But, it dawned on me that the things you write about are all a part of life. I am sure if everyone was forced to WAKE UP, they would have a long list of things that they could do better, or more mindfully. I think this made me cry not only because I have a list of my own that I would give to my BF, but because I wish that my BF would say these things to me. In a way, I was the walk away...I broke up with him because of all of those things that you listed...in a nutshell, felt he wasn't a part of our life and felt neglected. It was just that I realized my part in all of it too before we moved and I changed my mind. Then it sort of reversed who was walking away. The fact remains that I felt that way for a reason...and now I have my own list too. What I am saying is that we ALL could do better and contribute to making our relationships better. There are two sides. Your W may feel that you are to blame, but when she WAKES UP from feeling hurt, she will have her own list too. I believe this is you doing your part. No matter how she reacts to this letter, speaking from a female perspective...she will appreciate this as the ultimate validation.

I often try to give my 2 cents based on the "greater purpose" of all of this. Groov, you have the grasp on that, completely. You get why you are going through this...you are born again. Keep this in mind, forever. Believe me, when your W realizes that her "friend" is more wrapped up in his drama and their EA is no longer an outlet for venting and validation, your W will finally see your changes, so make sure they are permanent.

When are you planning on giving this to her?