Yeah it's nice to see some new people jump in on my thread as well as my not so old friends
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
I'm feeling a bit emotional today. I got a card from my friend who must've written the card before I told her. It had mine, my H's and my son's names on it. Then she had crossed out my H's name. As if that wasn't enough, I've just spoken to my mum. She asked if my H was coming on Christmas Day and when I said I don't know then she went into one. She said that if he's not got the decency to let me know, then just cater for me and my son. I said I knew what to do and that's what I was going to to. I asked her yet again to stop going on about H and she said she wasn't going on and as far as she was concerned H didn't exist in her life. She said that he doesn't exist in my dad's life anymore. I told her I was feeling very emotional and I didn't need this. I think that because she was on a roll she wanted to carry on. I said I don't need this and I've got to go now. Yes I'm trying to move on and yes I'm trying to detach myself but I don't like the way my mum speaks about my H or the tone of voice she uses when she talks about him. On well, I suppose I better get on with the rest of my day. That should take my mind off things at least I'm off to the open evening at the college and doing small beauty treatments, then I'm off to youth club where we've got a disco and I'm doing the girls' nails
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
2old I'm from Brooklyn. So there. TT180 this is all very normal behavior from your mom. She will always protect her kid. And friends really don't know how to behave in these circumstances. Some will remain friends some will not. It's weird to see it. It happened to me also. It takes lots of time to start making sone sense. The holidays really makes things more difficult because it brings back memories
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
It's that time of year TTD where emotions do run high. Add to that hormones and you've got a nasty cocktail.
Rick is right - its the momma bear in all of us moms. Your mom wants what she thinks is best for you. Don't let her get you down; she most likely means well.
Not sure why your friend wouldn't write out a new card. It's what I would have done. It's kind of like when someone dies and people just don't know what to say or how to act. Some will say nothing rather than say the wrong thing, while others will go ahead and say the wrong thing anyway.
Just keep in mind you've got friends here who will always try to say the right thing. Enjoy your day!
Both 50 S14 M 16 yrs (his 3rd; my 1st)
ILYBINILWY - 24 Dec 2012 H moved out - 27 Jun 2013 Legally separated - 6 Sep 2013 Closing the door and changing the locks
I wonder if the crossing out of the H's name wasn't meant kind of in fun - I'm sure she didn't mean for it to be hurtful. It's a minefield navigating these situations. Even for us DBers - we can often make a joke, meant to help, and accidentally hurt.
Hope you have a great time doing the girl's nails!
I'm back home now so I'm able to comment on my thread damn phone! I can get any other site, just not this one! lol. It wasn't so much the crossing out of my H's name that upset me, I know why she did it. She'd obviously written it before I told her. It was a special friend's card, so she couldn't have changed it. It was that combined with my mum's call that made me feel down. It's the way that my mum talks about H that upsets me, she sounds so bitter towards him and you can hear it in her voice. I've told her before that I don't want to talk about him to her and she just won't let it go. What's it to her anyway whether or not he comes round on Christmas Day! Anyway, I've had a fab afternoon and evening I went to the college open day and ended up not doing anything, lol. There was just too many beauty students there Anyway, I got a free mulled wine, a mince pie and a chocolate bar so I was happy lol. It doesn't take me much to be happy My tutors were there as well and we had carol singers and lots of happy chatter I left early as I had to go to Youth club. I had taken a change of clothes with me and put some Christmas earringd on and reindeer antlers. It's a pity that I was the only youth leader to dress up, lol. I did some nail painting and nail art on some of the girls and even the male youth leader joined in! lol. Well I only painted one of his nails, lol, bright pink it was! lol. He came back later to take it off as he said he didn't have the nerve to walk round with it on, lol. He's great fun, but I still don't know much about his private life - ie. if he's got a G/F or not and more importantly how old he is, lol. He definitely looks older than the painter, lol. I'm going to get all soppy now! he's got these gorgeous big brown eyes and I just melt when he looks at me and smiles Anyway, I won't be seeing him now until after Christmas, but he brightens up my Thursdays Well the only downside to my evening was my HM friend! She texted me when I was on the bus on the way home and when I didn't answer her immediately, she texted "????", grrrr! I said just wait a min, I'm not home yet! She asked where I had been and then said oh I'm such a bad friend for not knowing where you where. Arghhhhhhhhhh! She's doing my head in! lol. I've had 2 glasses of fun tonight with lemonade! I need them, lol. I've had to do 2 weeks Church notices tonight and catching up with my emails. Food shopping tomorrow, if I ever get to bed, lol.
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
Thanks NQ Lol MH, I wish! He took the polish off himself Feeling a lot better this morning I rang mum to tell her the parcels had arrived and she was all apologetic Pity my HM friend can't see when she's behaving like that. My mum was tired as well last night and she always moody when she's tired. Going out today to do some more food shopping and get it delivered this afternoon Delivering a few more cards whilst I'm out as well. Have a good day everyone
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
I has a similar conversation the other night with my mom. She was tired and stressed about something else and just went off about my h and his family and the holidays. I know that it is just her momma bear instincts to protect but I finally got through to her that these types of conversations only make me feel worse. I figured i would try and use some DBing on my mom and told her that if she needed to vent, she should write down her feeling and then delete the email or throw it out. Glad to see your day turned around and you are feeling better
