Still Dating

[labug]

I don't want to belabor this point but we have to be OK with ourselves before we can be OK in a R, otherwise we put our partner in the position of filling the voids and they may not be ready, willing or able to do that.

When I was able to look very realistically at my circumstance and realize that I am worthy and know that I didn't want a person in my life who didn't want to be there it was a turning point.

I was me, I was good with that, I was no longer afraid, I could handle the house, the Sons and I were good, I had friends, a great IC who was helping me become whole, hobbies, etc. I stepped out of the victim role, the falling back on "look what He did to me." I took full charge of me and my life.

I didn't NEED him but I knew at some point I would want someone to have adventures with but also knew that person would come along when the time was right.

Just so happens, it was H.

Several books have helped me get to this place along with all the people here. One book by David Richo cam along at just the right time. A quote: “The more invested I am in my own ideas about reality, the more those experiences will feel like victimizations rather than the ups and downs of relating. Actually, I believe that the less I conceptualize things that way, the more likely it is that people will want to stay by me, because they will not feel burdened, consciously or unconsciously, by my projections, judgments, entitlements, or unrealistic expectations.”

This is what I see happening in my M now, we're letting all that old stuff fall away. We're learning to relate to each other as very different people than we were almost 3 years ago.

And while I do have my fears, I recognize them, look at them, respect them but they don't control my life.