First off, give yourself some serious credit for accomplishing what you have so far.
Only you can say if you are beating a dead horse. If you are able to provide her the support she needs right now without expecting much in return, then keep on.
I think it comes down to patience and what you are willing to tolerate and live with. This is not a journey for the faint-hearted.
Each day, you have to decide if this is what you want and if you are still willing to stand.
Maybe it would help to make a list of lines you are NOT willing to cross. What would she have to do for you to say, Enough?
Also, think about why you are standing. Why do you hang on? What about your relationship and your wife have lead you to this point?
From what I've seen, there's really no rushing this journey. Setting any ultimatums and/or giving her expectations won't do anything but cause you frustration and more pain.
Enjoy this day.
Heather
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
