THURSDAY: W had text me a few times about something and nothing. I ignored or short answers. New friend help me put my xmas tree up.
FRIDAY: I left work in the morning to drive down to see the kids carol service. W had already left as I was 5 mins late. Met them at the church, had a few mins with S2 and S4 before S4 had to go off with his class to get ready. A few mins later he was brought to us crying. He spent the whole time stood in between my legs singing and doing the actions. I just think he wanted spend the time with me.
After it we took them for dinner and to have a play. W and I sat on a sofa while the kids played, not a lot of conversation between us. She asked the odd thing. At one point she joked about me massages her feet, I said no chance.
I left to drive home, lots of thoughts swirling around my head. Felt fine by the time I got home.
SATURDAY Did nothing much during the day, was so lazy. Then went to see the Hobbit 2 with my new friend, we spent another 26 hours together.
MONDAY Saw new frind for a few hours.
WEDNESDAY (Today): W: Can you bring me the black tree on Friday pleeaaase? Me: I've already put it up. W: Lol.....really?? You managed that big tree all on your own? Me: I had help. W: Eh? Me: A friend did it for me. W: Yeah well your little girlfriend can just undo it. I want MY tree. W: And the rest of my decorations. W: In fact keep it this year. Don't want to be the grinch who stole Christmas...lol. Glad you have yourself a little girlfriend for Christmas and nice to know you're not alone....keep reading those relationship books and it might work out for you this time. Good luck. XX Me: You said I could keep the tree. W: Did I? Honestly it's ok. You two enjoy it. W: Can you bring my Uggs on Friday...think they are either in the thin wardrobe as you walk in or the middle wardrobe. W: Only if you haven't given her those too! Ha Me: All you stuff is in 10 boxes in the garage. You can have them if you want. W: Just bring me a couple with my Uggs and clothes in. I'm gonna come up next month and get everything that I want from the house. W: I'm assuming you've taken all the pics down in the hallway. Ill have them too. Me: I replaced all the pics. W: Yeah still want the frames W: And light fittings and glass door handles W: Have the boys met her?
********I wasn't sure how to answer this. If I was asking I would want the truth****** I gave her a lift in the car two weeks ago and they were sat in the back, for about 5 mins
Me: Yes W: Not cool W: You didn't think to tell me so I could prepare the kids. W: This will explain their behaviour. Thinks like this need to be dealt with properly. W: And I want to meet her. I want to know who is spending time with my kids. Me: When did their behaviour change? When I have them I do what is right by them.
10 mins later W phones: Starting going off on one about how she needs to know about changes in my life so she can prepare the boys. I said that I'm not going to run all my life choices through her. If there is anything particular that needs to doing I need to know. She didn't like that and started shouted. I warned that I would put the phone down if she didn't stop shouting. She didn't stop so hung up. 5 mins later she phones. I answer. She said if I put the phone down on her again I won't see the kids. She said that S4 has been really sad for 8 weeks now and this is the reason why. I said to stop using the kids to get her way. She started shouting again so I hung up again.
She texts: W: Your actions have had a negative result on the boys to the point they are very unhappy. They will no longer be coming to (my town). Me: No they haven't. You are just guessing, you know nothing of my situation and you are building all this up from a tiny snippet of information. Not letting me have the kids will not help them in the slightest. Just make them sadder. W: Them little boys have been unhappy and S4's behaviour has got worse. You refuse to communicate with me in order to prepare them for new situations then you should not be allowed to have them. Get yourself a solicitor cos you ain't getting them. Me: Of course S4 is unhappy, he has had his world ripped in two. I am more than happy to communicate with you but I will not be shouted at, berated or be talked down to. The kids love spending time with me, how is taking that away because you're in a moodgonna help anything. W: You are no good for them boys. W You might be the kind of father that has zero interest in his kids when not there but I am certainly not that kind of mother....and you know that! You keep me in the dark about changes to the boys then I have no option but to limit the time you have them. Me: Why do you think its okay to attack my character? I had the kids every weekend for 18 months not only because I wanted to but because you didn't. If you have info about them kids I need to know, then you need to tell me. It's not legally your right to limit any time I have them. W: I'm not attacking your character. I'm stating the obvious. W: 'm done with you. Contact me through a solicitor form now on. Me: Who is your solictor? W: I'll email you the details. Me: If you're not letting me have them at all can you include your reasons in the email please. W: Lack of reasonable information & communication from the biological father that effects the mental well being of our autistic son. W: Resulting in our son becoming depressed, stressed and showing signs of aggressive behaviour from too much change. Progress and targets clearly having to be reintroduced after a weekend at the biological fathers home. W: Our son shows better developmental progress with being with myself over long periods of time. W: The biological father shows signs of autistic traits and has no clear judgement of want is right for my kids. W: That them reasons to your solicitor. Me: So what is your answer, you stop him form seeing his Dad. What do you think that will do for his all over development? Autistic tendecies, I may be slightly introverted but autistic I am not. Me: For the sake of this argument I will tell you what has happened so far. I gave (new friend) a lift from her house to the gym. The kids were in the car. S4 said hello and goodbye and for the rest of the 5 minutes he sung the wheels on the bus. This was only two weeks ago. Not the 8 weeks S4 has been struggling with.
M36 W31 S4 S2 T5 M4 BD Jan12 S July12 Recon Sep12-Nov12 ILBINILWY Jan13 OM x 2 in 2013 W wants R July 13 I start D. Jan 14. Meet GF Nov 13 Have I changed enough? Jul 14
Looking back I could have done much better here. Still better than I would have handled it 12 months ago.
Hoping she cools her jets between now and Friday. She normally does but who knows.
I suppose this was bound to happen sooner or later when I started to move on.
M36 W31 S4 S2 T5 M4 BD Jan12 S July12 Recon Sep12-Nov12 ILBINILWY Jan13 OM x 2 in 2013 W wants R July 13 I start D. Jan 14. Meet GF Nov 13 Have I changed enough? Jul 14
She's using the kids to try and hurt you (AGAIN). In this case her trigger was OW, that disclosure clearly angered her.
At this point I would suggest sharing all that info with your solicitor and see what their advice is.
I have done some dating, but not when I have the kids. My W has had her OM around the kids and it really upset them because they still hold out hope for reconciliation, and so they see OM as the roadblock to that and they don't like him by default. Granted my kids are older than yours, but because of that I will not expose them to an OW until after D, and even then I think it'll be a long while before I do.
W: Lol.....really?? You managed that big tree all on your own?
Why on earth did you not see that trap? That is as old as Eve!
Quote:
Me: I had help. W: Eh? Me: A friend did it for me.
Could you not have said, "I managed" or something else? You know when you say "a friend" that she is immediately going to assume the friend is female. And, that's just what she did!
Quote:
W: Yeah well your little girlfriend can just undo it. I want MY tree.
Wow! She has forgotten all about her two OM. She didn't see it the same way when she was the one with a friend.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
In multiple places early on. It had to end before the phone call really.
M36 W31 S4 S2 T5 M4 BD Jan12 S July12 Recon Sep12-Nov12 ILBINILWY Jan13 OM x 2 in 2013 W wants R July 13 I start D. Jan 14. Meet GF Nov 13 Have I changed enough? Jul 14
I was gearing up to send her the financial details this week so we could start hammering it out but thought I would wait until after xmas.
M36 W31 S4 S2 T5 M4 BD Jan12 S July12 Recon Sep12-Nov12 ILBINILWY Jan13 OM x 2 in 2013 W wants R July 13 I start D. Jan 14. Meet GF Nov 13 Have I changed enough? Jul 14
That last comment was a reply to labug: and what's happening with the divorce?
M36 W31 S4 S2 T5 M4 BD Jan12 S July12 Recon Sep12-Nov12 ILBINILWY Jan13 OM x 2 in 2013 W wants R July 13 I start D. Jan 14. Meet GF Nov 13 Have I changed enough? Jul 14
