It's Not Over 'Till It's Over

[Fight4MyWife]

Well I have definitely been backsliding a lot this past week & feeling very emotional, with a constant urge to contact my wife & discuss things with her.

I can be positive & strong for a while but I notice that whenever talks of the house, finances, legal action happen it sets off my emotions again.

I try as much as possible to suppress the urge to contact my wife & ask questions of why etc, but sometimes that urge just will not go away until I succumb to it, but then I regret it afterwards if I do succumb to it.

I sometime find myself thinking I will pull back & have limited contact with my wife as soon as I send this 1 text message or get this 1 thing off my chest. Then a couple of days later there will be another thing. I also think my mind comes up with reasons to make contact & I justify it to myself, as it may be about our son or something, but I think my mind is coming up with excuses to make contact.

I had made a list of stuff that I wanted to talk to my wife about, but all of it was stuff "I" wanted answers to, or reasoning etc. I have suppressed it all week. Last night when dropping my son off I suggested to my wife that we all go out for some food together on Thursday, she declined & then I felt deflated & emotional again.

Later I sent her a text message saying "can we talk" & intended to discuss the things that were bothering me, fortunately she never replied so I still have not discussed anything really, so I am now going to let this stuff go, as I know I should.

Ever since discussing the house I have been very emotional and feeling desperate & needy again. I think I have found a grain of strength inside myself today and I am now dusting myself off & getting back on track & detaching.

My wife has just sent me a text message about something minor & I feel I should just ignore it & not respond. However she may think I playing games & being awkward ignoring her message just because she often ignores mine.