Ambivalent, You are in panic and shock mode and it's evident you aren't focusing on what posters have posted. Since you posted what you had received, posters have been providing advice and suggestions as to what to say and do. Breathe! Take some time this afternoon and read what they have posted. You will find that many have come here to offer support and advice to you. We will help you get thru this, but you need to SLOW DOWN a bit and read the postings.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
