I wonder sometimes, if I should just cut all ties and make a clear definition of the fact that IT'S OVER.
Well it is over and it probably was at BD. Even in DR it says that we need to look at this as our old M being dead and gone, the goal is to establish a new R and M with the WAS. BUT, we can't do that unless and until the WAS is ready. That might be in 6 months, a year, a couple of years, or never.
I use the example of my buddy a lot, but it's not a lot different than your sitch. His W left him and was DONE. She quickly moved in with OM and started her new glorious life. After a year of almost no contact they started talking again. Many months later they started going out, then ML, now they're back together. It took several years to get to that point. So you never know what the future holds. But for now, yes, it's over and the healthiest thing for you to do for YOU is to accept that. It never hurts to keep a little flicker of hope burning, but in the meantime get on with your life.
My only thought, which is me "trying to guess the future" is, My W didn't leave me for an OM. It seems to me, from reading a lot of the success stories, that a good deal of the marriages that Reconcile had infidelity as the underlying cause of separation. We didn't have that. W just stated her unhappiness and left ME. Nobody actually came between us. She just wanted out. It wasn't until several months later that she started dating, so it only seems reasonable that if this relationship with OM doesn't work out for her, she would look for someone else once again. Of course, this is only me trying to play the martyr. I get that, and I am open for a 2x4, but that is my gut feeling.
