WR,

The only clue from Ms. Wonka was this: "I want a closure and I never got it."

Yes, I wanted to make myself clear about the reconciliation part as I anticipated that some people here on this forum might want to ask that question. I've moved on.

Here is a short summary to bring you [and others] up to speed on my sitch.

My maternal grandmother passes away in the Spring of 1999
Ms. Wonka and I bought our first house in the Fall of 2002
BD on Ms. Wonka on the day of her birthday in the Spring of 2003 mad [Certainly didn't win the Spouse-of-the-Year award]
Ms. Wonka engages in EA with her OW sometime in the Fall of 2003 which eventually becomes PA sometime in the Winter 2003/4
Ms. Wonka moves out of the house in late Summer of 2004 with the OW
The house was sold in the Spring of 2008

Our communication consisted of only 1-liners wishing each other Happy Birthday...that occurs 2 times a year. That was the totality of our "communication."

I inform Ms. Wonka that I've moved back home due to my father's cancer. That was in the early Fall of 2011.

Our first phone call in just over 9 years takes place in November 2012 after my father had passed away from cancer.

Then we had one other phone call on the day of my birthday in early 2013.

Since then there's been a sporadic of texts back and forth.

This has been the extent of our communications. So to jump from this to making sincere amends will require some real finesse.

Now can you see things a bit more clearly, WR?