Another problem is this “You must move with the stitch.” I have done a terrible job at this – It seems like I simply don’t get when to take the next step and what the next step is.
OK, F. You know this is bad when it's coming from me, the world's worst overanalyzer. You are thinking waaayyyyyy too much.
I know, it happens. I do it, too. And then I take a step back, and I look at it objectively. I pretend that it is someone else asking the question, and me giving the advice. And then the answer is so simple.
Stop overthinking every step. Remember that one interaction is not going to make or break things. When in doubt, just be quiet. That can never hurt you. (As long as you smile.)
Each time you are going to act or speak, think about this: "is this going to further my goal of R with my W?" That should help to guide you. If you were to think about whether your proposed statement (regarding the birthday party) would further that goal, what would you say? How would that help? Remember, don't speak or act to get your W to think, do or say anything. You can't control her anyway. Speak and act from the heart, and you will be fine. (Just don't eat her arm off.)
This is what test and check is all about. You will know when and which way to move with your sitch if you test and check. So test - let's say you give her a compliment. If she responds neutrally or negatively, there you go. Don't do that again for a while. If she responds positively, make a mental note. Maybe you can do that again sometime. Watch your W for cues, and follow her cues. If she comes toward you, go toward her, but only the same amount she comes toward you. Same with backing off. It's really kind of like when you first start dating someone. Just relax and go with the flow.
Oh, and what can you do to improve your confidence level? You need this for you, and to have any shot at R. Do you work out? I find that exercise is GREAT for confidence. Why is it so low when you are around W? She is just a person, after all. Just as imperfect as you. Are you putting her on a pedestal still?
me: 44 XH: 42 M 11 years D10 and S8 Bomb drop 9/27/13 D final 7/1/14
