The end of Limboland

[mj0221]

Thanks Portia,
Yes when I first went through this a friend of a friend connected with me who had also gone through this and had reconnected with her husband after a 16 month separation gave me a list of books one being Divorce Remedy. I have read it many times along with about 10 other books. I have read through all the lists on here SO many times.

A little more about me....
I didn't just get the Ilybnilwy....speech. About 3 weeks before he left I got the FYI I never loved you and I hated our entire marriage. Well at first naturally I begged and didn't believe him. A little side note to today. I really believe he didn't ever love me unfortunately. Only time will tell I think I how I see him go through life the next couple years.

Our marriage...
We had our typical ups and downs. I guess I thought things that could be worked through.

There were several things I just couldn't get over. The ex wife.....whenever her and my opinion were involved, H always chose hers. I would always tell him bad move it will come back to bite you and it always did. Second thing I could never get over, his parents never liked me....I never knew why and H, no matter how much I would beg him to find out why wouldn't. (H is a big avoider of conflict of any kind!!!!!) WELL this for the past eleven years upset me because since they didn't like me they wouldn't have anything to do with our daughter. H is an only child so his parents have 1 granddaughter and 1 grandson and won't have anything to do with my daughter. They have never sent her a dime, called her seen her or asked to see her. H son, they lavish with gifts, money etc. but send it to his moms. This caused a lot of tension early on in the marriage because I found out about it from the son and H didn't believe me and didn't for years .... More avoidance on his part. When he finally did confront his parents, yes they were doing that. So H didn't talk to his parents for 4 years. His parents are the type that quit talking to both sets of their parents when something made them mad, anytime someone stepped on their toes they just disowned them.

My parents have been like parents to H. We are a very close family. To say they liked him better than me was always a joke in our family but sometimes my sister and I really thought it was true. He was a good man.

I have researched to death MLC and have really thought that's what H is going through but really don't know. Other times I just think he's just walked away. He has it in his family. He has put me and daughter through heck. She and I have both been in counseling the whole time.

When he found out we were going....one of the few communications we have had over 10 months, he said "great, I hope it helps y'all. I don't need any therapy"

There's lots more to come but before I go.......my story has bits and pieces of so many of yours. I have cycled so much in the grieving process. A long time ago I went to IC and swore never again because I got nothing out of it. Well I tried it anyway.....it has taken me switching 3 times and believe it or not all this time it was a man that I go to now. I kept going to women and would leave there almost having these feelings of hate toward H. Well that wasn't my goal.