NEW LIFE / NEW ME - AIRBORNE II

[Fartiltre]

Sandi & Melissa,

First of all – I do in fact feel like Cyrano many days!
I have discovered my own nose and it stands so clear every time I look in the mirror these days. Every book I read, every session I have at shrink makes my nose bigger.
I write this with a smile and a tear. It is great that I see it, that I can work it, but I simply can’t stand looking at it

Sandi, I know what you wrote – I have been over your post over and over! I still have major problems in understanding putting the focus on her decision contra putting blame on her.
The solution right now is not to put focus on it since I will come out blaming. That’s also why I posted here before saying anything.
Another problem is this “You must move with the stitch.” I have done a terrible job at this – It seems like I simply don’t get when to take the next step and what the next step is.
That’s why I try to follow advice.

So don't tell me how you follow advice to the word, when I have told you this more than once.

I agree that you have told me many times – but seeing when to follow, when to open up, when to pursue a little is the hard part. I don’t get it!

But I told you back some time ago to not decline almost everything during December, unless things were not good between you.

I agree and I have followed. She invited herself here on the 23, church at 26 and birthday. I have declined her birthday as the only thing in December.

However, can you just try to lay it down for a few days b/c I think you are becoming too rigid for Christmastime.

Done!

I am saying to take a little chance but don't push it and go hog wild.

No hogs If I figure out something to do – I will do it!

You men tend to think in a "all or nothing" mentality but it doesn't work when you are DBing.

That’s me to the point!

You have got to trust yourself more!! Your W fell in love with you once; why can't she again? Remember your good times, relax and just allow yourself to enjoy her company. There is a lot of room there before you get to "eating her arm off" status.

I used to have the confidence of the Lion-king but it vanished – not at BD, but before! I am working it and it is getting better and better but it sure is hard when W is around. I think what both of you are telling me is do not eat her arm but try taking a tiny bite of her little finger

Thanks both!
I appreciate this so much! Sandi; I am sorry if I make you feel like you are repeating yourself endlessly.

F