Wife Said She's Done

[OneDay]

I first wanted to thank everyone for their time and help. I dont think I could/would have done any of this without you.

You see, I am really have a tough time with Detaching and DB'ing and GAL. I started reading DR and trying to follow the best I can, but I cannot get her off my mind and how bad I want this to work out. I cannot get my poor boys, and how this will effect the rest of their lives off my mind. I just cant shake it no matter how hard I try. I cant tell whether I'm coming or going, whether its up or down. My entire chest feels so heavy. I cant wait to go to sleep at night.

When Im home and around WAS, I feel afraid to talk and sometimes even look at her. I feel that if I talk too much I am not detaching. She's been talking quite a bit, and I try to respond with short and sweet answers. Im Honestly just acting right now. I dont think I can detach. Im following most if not all of sandi's rules but it just doesnt feel right, I AM JUST ACTING RIGHT NOW.

Here comes the mind games...

Now at the same time, being back at home almost feels NORMAL. For the most part were back in a normal routine of life. (kids, lunches, showers, feeding dogs, vacuuming, laundry, Watching tv at night, etc etc) As if nothing ever happened, as if were not getting a D, as if the D talk has never even came up.

I also feel guilty about moving back home. She did'nt want me too, she said "What do you think 5 weeks fixes years worth of craziness" I told her no, I dont think it fixed anything but I was still coming home and I did. The day I after I told her that was when she filed the D papers.

I dont feel that im doing anything right at the moment.