Hmm.. Not quite what I intended. Let me put it another way: The idea is to get some breathing room between the two of you. To put a buffer in there. To that end, I'm suggesting no more texts at all. It know it's convenient, but it's not working. By design, texting is brief and informal. Email is more formal and can allow a lot longer before a response.
The suggestions were there as a means to show you that YOU need to change the dynamic. It will NOT change overnight. You have to be prepared to change that and stay changed. Consistently.
It's also not all or nothing, but I agree that if she cannot be bothered to talk in a business like manner, you don't need to listen to it. The reverse is true as well. If you can't keep your remarks or the past or your anger out of the conversation, then she has no reason to listen to it.
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If the subject of money comes up, I will simply say "I am itemizing all my expenses and will send you an invoice at the end of the month. Please do the same, I will review it monthly and send you any money I feel you are owed."
If you had said that to me, I'd have flipped a lid and gone nuclear on your sorry a**. I will send you money I feel you are owed? Really? You don't see how that's caustic!??
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I will answer the phone out of courtesy, but if it is not immediately urgent, I will just tell her "I do not wish to discuss this over the phone, please send me an email"
That's much better. If you can be courteous. If not, let it go to voicemail. Respond later after you have had a chance to think about it. And think about it again.
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I will not respond to any texts that are not completely benign (For example "Where is D12's practice?"). If it is about money, or some other contentious issue, I will respond via email after a sufficient wait.
Eventually, you'll be able to teach her how to treat you. i.e. if she asks a reasonable question, you can give a reasonable answer via text. BUT for now, you two need some distance from each other, don't you agree?
The suggestions were to help you get that distance and slow things down until they can be more productive for all concerned. In the meantime, neither of you is going to get what you want, although you each may think the other is getting what they want at the time. Your perceptions of each other and selves is 180 out.
Cool things down. That's what I'm suggesting.
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
I will send you money I feel you are owed? Really? You don't see how that's caustic!??