Well, she text today asking me to mail a folder with her birth certificate and other paperwork to her. She needs it to retest for her driver's license there in her home state. I suspect too so she can file for divorce.
I've researched that she has to prove residency for 90 days -but I also found 6 months so idk. And filing can be granted anywhere from 60 days to 6 months. Idk I do not want this.
We have no real assets. Her car is hers and mine is mine. They're both on one insurance policy with both our names on it. One tv and a DVD player is hers before we were married. Movies and books are pretty cut and dry. Knick knacks and collectables are mostly things we bought together since we were dating but somethings we each had before marriage. Idk what she would want or throw out. Since she hasn't worked it's down to my income and tax return since married.
This is making me sick thinking about it and typing it.
She needs to go to a dentist, toothache. She is super broke and feels like such a loser. She is doing good so she is happy. She just needs to get her stuff together.
I have not replied. Don't plan to. She texts every few days or so. Wth?
I'm not going to put any money into her account or send any.
I got about halfway through DB and it was suggested to go ahead and read DR. So I'm about 1/3 through it.
I'm working, taking care of our animals, getting out a bit, slowly cleaning the house, maintaining me-eating, showering, sleeping, etc, reading DB, DR, 5 Love Languages, online self help and this forum, talking with a good friend about this, making decisions and trying to have a good future plan for myself, drawing (a favorite hobby that I haven't had too much time for), looking at what went wrong on my part in the marriage-communication, controlling behavior, bad overall attitude, not affectionate enough, open and honest talk and expressing emotion, etc and what ways I can improve that, looking for a good therapist...
I'm still getting over the flu so I have a fever, meds, sleep, blah blah. I'll have to reread things and get them to set in my brain.
I worry about her. I still care and want to help but I just can't. For myself, my own good but for her too. She has to face consequences of her decisions and life without me, so on. It's tough but it's the way it is. I'm accepting this and that our marriage is over.
I have panic attacks here and there. But I'm dealing with them ok. I still hangout with mutual friends. It's odd at times because I feel like they're analyzing my actions to report back to her. That's ok. I act normal-no moping or being sad, no talking about my situation, joking around, laughing, being myself. I'm drinking less because I think it caused me to be on a bad mood majority of the time and closed off.
I stopped by a friend's house yesterday evening, these are mutual friends-a married couple, and hungout a while. Just having fun and helping move furniture. When I told them I had to leave, get up early, things to do. They kinda freaked and both looked at me asking what I had to do, was I going anywhere...I didn't give any info other than I had things to take care of. Right before I left they were asking the same type of questions. Funny. I know my W and her still talk but idk what about. It's ok. I was in good spirits and was having fun.
I'm not sending her any paperwork she needs, money, nothing. I am done.
I will not file because it's not my choice. OM involved or not. It's her decision and she will have to do it and all the work involved.
Meaning: getting her birth certificate, license, filing, finding a job, supporting herself ( I'm sure she'll still get help from her parents-she's living there), face her own faults and consequences of her decisions.
I will not be available, answer calls or texts, help in any way.
