The EAs (online flirting) and PA (which was discovered days ahead of it becoming physical but he admits it would have)were dealt with in perhaps the worst possible way - I didn't tell a soul and never worked through my resentment. Often since I have behaved untrustingly. Not helped by the fact that although he apologised at the time he has only expressed the extent of his regret since the recent BD. I think to have heard this a few years ago would have greatly helped me to forgive. H appears sincere when he says no-one else is involved now and I don't have any reason to suspect otherwise at this point.
I have been trying to GAL and have joined two classes, started regularly going to the gym and seeing a friend more often. This started before BD as I'd worked out that I needed to do this especially now the kids are getting more independent(teenagers).
I'm not sure why he said he didn't respect me? But looking from my end I have been very down, critical and clingy as I sensed him withdrawing in recent months.
I have been to IC but after a few sessions the C advised that we couldn't go much further without H on board. And yes I am reading and re-reading DR which kind of raised my question about whether I should continue to work with him. It makes going mysterious tricky but provides lots of opportunity for contact about things other than the R.
