I was just sitting here thinking about my first Christmas post bomb...

I got bombed at the end of September 2007, so things were pretty fresh then.

We already had existing plans for the usual Christmas visitation, so the first wave ( my Mother) went fairly smooth, although my Mother thought that she caught a glimpse of her looking at a dating sight, but blew it off because she couldn't imagine anything being wrong at that point.( the "show" was in full force)

My Ex went out for her company Christmas party on the afternoon of the 24th, and got drunk with one of her coworkers ( a younger girl that she was "helping out" ). So she was hammered for Christmas eve.

She spent Christmas day fully engaged on her phone, and the only thing that interrupted that ? Was her 3 hour nap...

When my Mother left, my Dad came to visit the following day. We were sitting in our kitchen playing cards, laughing and having fun (thank God it was MY family there), when she asked me to go into our bathroom with her. She told me that she had decided that she was done, and there was no chance of us getting back together...ever. I asked her why she picked THAT time to tell me that....

And she said that she didn't want me to get the wrong idea because we were having fun together.

Looking back, I now know that it was the whole "Space Shuttle" analogy that I have used many times here.

She was feeling that closeness, and needed that fuel, to push away.

It was the first time that she had ever been 'that' cold towards me.


Quite a few of you will be spending your first Christmas "post bomb".

I can tell you that you will see some strange crap from your spouses. You will see that empty look in their eyes, and you will see the "space shuttle" thing happening. You will see some anger from them, and some of you will be the victims of some major button pushing....

Do not engage with them about it...

The "closer" that you feel, the more they will feel the need to push away from it.

Please do not let YOUR expectations ruin this magical time of the year.



One of my mantras , has always been to prepare for everything, yet expect nothing...