I will try to keep history brief, hope it doesn't sound too cold!
Me(44), H(46), T(16) M(13)
Looking back our issues began some time ago. His parents died unexpectedly in 2007 and 2008 (he didn't appear to fully grieve at the time although he was v close to them). At same time we had big problems with behaviour of my teenage son (H's SS) and H starts his own business. H has various online EAs in 2009 and a PA in 2010 - totally out of character. He ended all these when discovered and confronted. We have had several quieter years since but resentment has simmered away both ways. We've had a rubbish year learning that a dear friend is terminally ill and ongoing business worries. In Oct H told me he didn't know how he felt about me, doesn't love me in the way he should and doesn't respect me. Almost all the issues he cited were around how we dealt with the stuff above. Plus he has implied that I don't do anything to make myself happy but have been relying on him and that I am somewhat boring and homely. I feel this is a valid assessment. When I said I agreed and would work on this he said it was 'too little too late'. He left in mid-Nov.
He pops in maybe three times a week to see the younger children and I try to look my best and be upbeat. I have stopped trying to reason and give my support to the S. He says he feels relieved being apart which I have validated. We've had no R talk for several weeks. He speaks to me respectfully, even warmly at times but his eyes look sad. He has a lot of business worries presently and we are continuing to work together. (Should we continue to do this?) He talks about a future but it does seem to be all about the business not the M.
I am shell-shocked to say the least. What I really don't understand is how he can appear to be so final without giving us a chance to work things through. He said he has 'tried everything' but this didn't include involving me or going to MC (which he refused to do).
Some of this strikes me as being MLC sounding stuff but if so why the calmer interlude of 2010-13?
I feel so desperately sad that the man I love has become so unhappy right under my nose and I didn't realise it. I kick myself for not having listened better.
Sorry for rambling.... I would really appreciate any input.
