DIG DEEP DIG ON

[Ambivalent]

Well ladies you hit the nail on the head, yet again. My father had a few relationships, then he married a woman five years older than my older sister. He lost me on that one. It disgusted me, and he never ever made an attempt to be a loving father. Well to make a long story short...SHE had a mid-life crisis! Left my father about a few years ago, for another man. Much younger than my father!

My husband's father had three wives before he just passed away this past year! Neither of them ever learned.

At this point , it would hurt terribly if he decided to get married to another woman. I'm sure something will happen soon come January or February.

I know these men are in panic mode, but I'm not very attracted to cowardly behavior. We all have baggage, and a crisis shows us who we really are, and who they really are.

I'm not sure yet if will want someone who doesn't look within themselves, and fight and grow. Yes we were young when we married, we also both took the same vows. I meant mine, and I took those vows seriously. I didn't say I would take him in the better times, in richer and only in health.

I could have bailed, when he brought a stripper in our home for his friend's bachelor party. I could have bailed when he lost his job, and we had to sell our house of fifteen years. I could have bailed when he used a stripper. I didn't. Those were not for better.

He may not have had a choice to have this crisis, but he does have a choice what he does with his behavior. It is not okay to rob a bank, physically abuse someone, steal, rape or murder. Yes those are extremes, but it is not okay to desert someone either. This is what he has done.

He could have communicated , gotten himself into weekly therapy, researched , instead he ran away. This is a person of weak character. I'm so glad I don't have sons, for I would hate for them to learn this behavior and sometime down the road repeat it and cause another woman this pain.

Oh well, C'est la vie!

Tonight was the last dance class 'til January. I'll miss it. We're still have the Friday dances. I believe the theme for dance is tacky Christmas!

I'm excited for the Friday after Christmas. My youngest said she'd come to the Friday lesson before the dance and stay for the dance! I hope she likes it , and has a great time! We already share tennis, this would be another fun thing I could do into my elderly years!

Job, I haven't reached out to H. about Christmas. Since he's been A W O L , I'm wondering if I should just let it be. I will invite his brother, but I'm not that enthused about extending to H. I figure he's a big boy, and if he's not willing to reach out, it probably is the best. My girl's need to see him for who he is right now, and if he makes no attempt then it is what it is. Let me know what you think, I'm reeeeally not feeling the need. He doesn't want to participate. I'm not the only one he's chosen not to contact.

I'm not in the mood for lies, stories, or excuses.