Look what the cat dragged in! (TL) - Act 2

[tigerlily78]

I would point out to him that money will be a lot less tight once you can get a job, and that you need a car in order to be able to work.

He can file his taxes the minute he gets his W2 (which arrives before the end of January). So long as he doesn't dawdle on filing, he could have his refund in February.

Does he not have any credit cards or credit rating? I would think if his credit is at all ok, he could just put the down payment for a used car on his credit card. Even a beater would be of use to you right now.

Is he abusive in other ways? Because this all sounds like the kind of control that abusive men employ - keeping you dependent and cut off.

KML, The job market here is worse than it is nationwide, so as much as I would like to think I am highly employable, I am not sure the odds are in my favor right now. I think in his mind the job needs to come before the car.

His credit is okay, not great. He already has considerable debt that ensures he wouldn't get a good interest rate. He only has one open credit account now that I know of and the limit is only $500 and the APR is high.

Yes, conceivably he could file the taxes earlier this year. Oddly enough he works for a company that does software relating to tax services... so this is their busy time of year and he usually puts it off until the last minute.

He has on a few occasions over the years lost his temper and said things that were emotionally abusive or broke something (the hole in the wall, a folding chair). I don't feel like son and I are in any physical danger of violence. It's more the potential psychological impacts and the risk of "neglect" of responsibilities that troubles me.

The only "family" we have nearby are his parents and neither of us have talked to them in 2 years. They are dysfunctional, I would rather not have to rely on them for anything. All my family is in another state (1300 miles away)... my mom has said I am welcome to move home if I decide I need to. (She knows we are dealing with MLC and bad decision making and emotional turmoil, not that there is OW). So I *do* have that option if I need it and can work out the logistics. It would be a very difficult situation for my son though, he is a special needs student and the area where they live does not have the same kinds of resources in the school district that he currently gets. We'd also be leaving his friends and activities that it has taken us years to establish due to his Aspergers. It is not a decision I could/would make lightly.