Had a tough situation with H anger this weekend. Went out to see our favorite live band play at our town festival. My parents, his parents, our kids and several friends were there. H met us there after work. Everything seemed a-ok. We talked, shared a couple drinks, laughed. Kids went home with grandparents and H drove us home. When we got there, he said ok, see you later. I was like what?? So, I hesitated getting out of the vehicle and asked him if everything was ok, does he want to talk about anything, then he got extremely angry. Almost like a rage. I was just confused that he was dropping me off instead of going home like we always have before. I was caught off guard.
He started punching the steering wheel, yelling and cursing he just wants to drive around and have time alone. Things didn't end well. I didn't feel safe. I stayed at my parents that night. H slept in his vehicle on a below 0 night in his work parking lot.
We spoke the next day. He apologized. He cried. He told me he is confused. I asked him to leave for a little while until he can get his anger under control. He's now crashing on a (loser) friends couch. I'm sure reliving the glory days with no responsibility. This feels awful.
Did I do the right thing? Talked to our counselor today. He agreed with me. Our sitch seems more and more hopeless everyday. The kids and I are on our own again. Alone in our home with all the responsiblities while H lives the life of a teenager. Resentment is creeping in again. No phone calls or texts from him to see the kids. Nothing.
It's these unexpected and odd situations that throw me off of my DB. I didn't push or pressure him.
How much did her drink that night? it's not an excuse but it can cause unexpected reactions.
If that happens again and he says he's leaving say, "OK, have a good time." or whatever. Do yo see how what you said could be perceived as pressure? Understandable from our point of view but not to someone who wants no pressure from anyone.
He's an adult he can take care of himself. It might not be your choice of a way to take care of self but it's his.
Leave him to it.
It's hard, take care of yourself.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
