This is a helpful thread. This year I am truly looking forward to Christmas, and honestly not missing my xh.
I do have the occasional twinge of regret, but it is more of a 'it didn't have to be like this, but here we are'
I am so very sorry that my xh chose this route, and I wish him well. He is a little crazy, and may always be so. I can now think of him with real love and regret, but no longing for what i had. So we do get there.