DIG DEEP DIG ON

[Ambivalent]

Brightness,

Don't forget that confusion is the major trait. Those above were some extremes. They kind of make me feel a bit better, or should I say..." it could be worse! ".


Mine fits MLC to the tee. Major confusion, doesn't know what he wants, wishes he had done some things differently, wishes he had saved, he loves me, he's not physically attracted, he kisses and hugs me, sneaks glances, doesn't want to live a separate life , is living a separate life.
Not sure where this is going, knows what he doesn't want.

He's all over the place, I'm not dating, but has a ton of Viagra, and has taken it. Other stuff too.

Cycling up and down. Contact, no contact. Puts gas in the SUV, propane in the tank.

I've just come to the conclusion that whatever happens happens. Do I like it , uh, Hell to the NO!

But I've got to focus on myself. I'm learning as much as I can, just like I learned about ADHD, OCD, Depression, Anxiety, highly gifted children, yadda yadda yadda.

Does it svck to be dealing with this? Do I reeeeally have to answer that?

I just figure, like I've had to do in the past crisis' , make the best of it.

I'm going to learn from every negative situation, and so far, I know what to look for in any other possible relationship.

Think about that! We know, look to see if their parent's are still married. Listen to them about their relationship with their parent's , past AND present. Do they have any of the following: motorcycle, sports car, boat, gym membership, and how long have they had them? How long were they married? Did they "grow apart"? Is he looking for the " soul mate "?
Do they want to p a r t y ? Do they speak in teenage tongue?

At this point I'm actually laughing about this. Go on a dating website...it is somewhat sad, and hilarious at the same time. Don't get me wrong, I see the pain; if you don't have a sense of humor madness will set in.

I'm a worker. Meaning I know marriages take work, doing something well takes work, succeeding takes work. I went from not being able to draw a stick figure to drawing portraits. I went from not getting a tennis ball over the net to acing opponents. I went from not knowing a thing about textile art to winning awards with my creations and got juried into shows!

I think I can do this. I'm not a quitter, never thought he was, but maybe he is now...who knows? I know my daughters are going to see the fight rather than flight in their mother.

I've always been a survivor, had to when younger and I will again. He can join me or not. I'm not going to lose my daughters, or my health over what he's doing.

It's a shame that he is allowing his fear of the future to eat his today.