Afraid I have waited too long

[nit84]

New development I told my W I was moving back gave a days notice after giving her 8 weeks to come up a draft for separation of assets for me sign then she said she would move out. She did not produce anything. I moved back yesterday not totally back in because she asked for a couple days to move out as she says she cant live with me because she is afraid of me. I told her she did not have to leave because it her house also.

I told her that I still loved her and was totally invested in working all this out. But in the meantime I had to move on with my life and this was the first step. She had said she would get an atty with her Christmas money. Because I was forcing her out of the house. Told her I consulted an Atty to protect myself. She asked why I didn't file then. I told her because she is the WAW and it is up to her to do it. She said she couldn't file because she doesn't have a job and very little money. Go get a job she had one for 14 years prior to this I told her.

She said that because I am NO longer drinking, I am in IMC, I am losing weight and going to church I think I am holier than thou. I disagreed respectfully and said these are things that I am doing for myself no one else. She said after 17 years of us being together and me being a "drunk".( I am not an alcoholic we both like to go and have good time but that is when most of our arguments started so she labeled me that.) All of the sudden your not drinking but still go to bars. I said correct because honestly that is where our friend base hangs out.

IMHO, She is upset that I am not sitting around moping and I have the desire to not drink which she figured would never happen and it would make it easier for her to leave. She sees all the changes in me and it is making her upset because now she has kinda made her bed by separating and is getting advise to stay away from me but it is confusing because I truly am working on myself during this S and she didn't think I would.

I cannot change her mind about the M she has to do that herself. I need to know how to handle from here. I think atty will not be involved yet so I have some time to let it play out I think. There is more to the story but this is getting a little long. I don't feel good about this because she says she has no place to go but she does it just pulls at my heart when she is hurting even if it is her own doing.