Well, like the rest of us here, it sounds like you both could have done this differently! My H and I got stuck, too, until the only way he could determine to get unstuck was to escape the M. Have you told your W what you said here? That you agree with her that the M was awful, but you would like a new M with her?
Breakdown, no offense taken at all, and I agree, it is a personal choice. Paul, as with all the advice here, you have to decide what is right for your own sitch. For my sitch, I felt that my H felt so trapped, that I had to "set him free" in every possible way. He didn't want to feel married to me anymore. And I felt that wearing my rings would be a sign to him that I didn't accept that, which I thought would push him closer to divorce. I wish I could wear my rings. I love them. I love what they symbolize. I love being married. I love being married to my H. But since he's not feeling the same, I have them put away. I am planning to get another ring for myself to remind myself of my commitment to my H, but more so my commitment to myself - to love myself and believe in myself. I just haven't figured out exactly what the inscription is going to say.
Anyway, didn't mean to hijack and talk about myself.
I think you have already received some good advice. Get to work on identifying and implementing your 180s. Read and memorize Sandi's 37 Rules. Once you have your 180s set and you know the rules, be super consistent with them. Slipping up doesn't mean it's all over, but it means you end up undoing progress you had made.
And please, GAL! GAL like crazy! This is for you, and it does wonders.
By the way, if you have a chance, you might want to add a signature to your posts. It is good, especially when you are new, to sum up your sitch so that people know where you are without having to page back to the original post.
me: 44 XH: 42 M 11 years D10 and S8 Bomb drop 9/27/13 D final 7/1/14
