Hey Paul. I'm sorry you find yourself here, but you are in good company.
Cadet will probably pop in shortly and let you know your W is giving you a gift of time....use it wisely. Clearly there have been issues in your M....now you have some time to think thru it, to think about changes you want to make, and roll up your sleeves and get to work. You do have some time....you can either sit on the sideline, or you can start working towards becoming the H only a fool would leave.
So what don't you like about your role in the M? What do you think the issues are from your W's perspective? What do you want to work on?
Originally Posted By: melissag
(2) If she is not wearing her ring, take yours off. It shows you accept and respect what she is doing, rather than fighting it. Fighting it will push her away further.
I'm going to disagree with this one (no offense melissa), at least at this point in time. There is one view that wearing your ring is pressure, and I can see that. But I don't think it's an absolute....to me, it's more of a personal choice.
I remember struggling with that one myself. I eventually chose to wear my ring as a symbol of my commitment to our M, at least until we were D'd. Post-D, my W wears hers half the time...I don't feel pressure from it, but I do take it as a symbol she's not done yet (right or wrong).
Originally Posted By: AnotherStander
WAS's always speak in absolutes. They'll say there's no hope, they're done, it's over, etc. Some later reconcile and some don't, so those kind of comments don't really offer any insight into what will happen in the future.
Totally agree with AS on this one...they say "always" and "never" all the time. What they really mean is "I'm trying to convince myself." Give her space and focus on you for a while....don't buy into the absolutes.
