[SemperFi00]

Couple of other things just to catch up on some journaling

• Cut our own Christmas tree for the first year in a long time the Sunday after TGiving – S17 didn’t want to go so I let him know that I really wanted him to go but that if he was going to be unpleasant he could stay at home and we would bring the tree back. W also rolled her eyes somewhat sarcastically when I suggested going to get a tree - wanted to say “same goes for you” but instead drank a big ‘ol glass of STFU and we all had a pretty good time (in-laws also went along).
• Have been slowly getting the house decorated for Christmas – would love for it to be a family event but others have joined in to help at different points in time. Last night S17 said – “”you guys did a really nice job decorating” as we pulled out of the driveway. W asked me to leave the wondown lights and wreaths down and she would take care of it so I did – 3-4 days later just ended up doing it myself and didn’t say anything (again sometimes STFU can come in handy)
• S15 made Fresh basketball team – 1st time on a school basketball team so not sure how the playing time will be allocated but proud of him no matter what happens

Becoming increasingly frustrated at what I view as the lack of “equitable” distribution of family work items / responsibilities. Feels like we are eating out more often, that less housework is getting done, less awareness of $$$ outflow, W not engaged in decorating or Christmas shopping, etc….

Haven’t said anything to her yet while I try to figure out what it is that I am really feeling. Maybe just an increased sense of anxiety/tension.longing because it’s the holiday season…….

Just really su#$% at this moment today – although S15 and I did go shopping yesterday and we managed to put up some of the outdoor decorations on Sat before the snow started. Both were very enjoyable!

Used to love amusement parks - not this roller coaster though!!