Thought I would bring this over to its own thread.
The holidays are especially difficult for MLCers and for the LBS. For them, the idea of family time makes them uncomfortable. It is the life they think it the cause of their unhappiness. For the LBS, it is the feeling of loss.
My friends, there are things you can do to lessen your pain and help you through these difficult times and allow you to move forward.
Learn to accept that this is what is at this moment, with the understanding that it wont always be this way. When you fight against it and you allow your fear to take over, you give it your power. Take it back.
Whatever you imagine is happening with the OP, get rid of. I promise you it is not anything like what you are thinking. These are two broken people in a firestorm. Trust me, your ideas are making it much bigger than it is.
Your MLCer is missing out on the holidays and thats sad. But you have the opportunity to make memories that can last a lifetime. Take it.
Allow yourself to feel compassion for your spouse, but, be sure to take care of you. You will feel some anger, too. Dont hold onto that too long. Doesnt serve you well.
Set aside some time to have a good cry. Then dive into the festivities with your family. Create moments. Feel the spirit of the season. Eat too much pie. Drop what you're doing and read to a child. Catch snowflakes on your tongue. Laugh great big belly laughs.
What is going to happen with your spouse is going to happen anyway. Might as well continue to live your life.
When the holidays come around, it is easy to start down the road of feeling guilty for the past. Dont go down it. Forgive yourself.
It is the season of renewal. The season for fresh starts. Let this be a time when you find your self worth.
Release the feelings of holding on, of wanting to understand, of wishing things were different, of anger and sadness. Those things weigh you down. Look at the life you have, instead of the one you want and realize how blessed you are.
