Sinking into a dark place

[melissag]

Aaron, I am glad you are back! I think it is great that your W wants MC, and I truly hope it works out for you! I think that it would be great for you to read DR, which actually was written for someone in your situation - where the M is in bad shape, but nobody is yet out the door. I think it would give you ideas of some things to implement even while you are going to MC.

As far as MC goes, make sure you have a solutions oriented, pro-M counselor. My H and I went to MC, and though we begged her for homework, or something to actually DO, she didn't give it to us, and on top of that never really addressed our issues or asked us the hard questions. I honestly wish that I had read DR at that point instead of wasting the $$ on MC. (I'm not saying that your MC will be a waste of money, just saying that not all Cs are created equal.)

Also I think that some of the folks here are trying to explain that while it's great that your W is willing to go to MC, you CAN effect change in your relationship on your own. And I'm not sure why (in addition to working on things with your W), you wouldn't want to.