It's sad they look to external sources to solve their happiness and who knows if they ever will grow up?
Just a quick note on this: I found this to be a little ironic. Anyone else?
As for the dropping of the rope? I'd say you're getting there. I see a lot in your post that tells me you want the inner voices to change the subject, but they have not yet. Can I tell you a few things? They'll stop more and more over time if you make them. There is no switch or pill, sadly. He may have told you those things when he left were his reason, but I'd say that it's been my experience that anything opposite to you would have done. Mine it was all about having another baby but not with me We have two kids already, and I'm fixed (mutual agreement years ago). But this was just after her nephew killed himself and I think it was just how she felt at that moment (looking back). Others I know? Similar stories - anything opposite will do.
You are cruising right along to full detachment. Kicking and screaming the whole way, like the rest of us
I don't think this will be a bad holiday season for you, Portia. I suspect you'll look back at this one as one of the best - the first best in a long line of them.
Oh. And to the ladies out there that mentioned that they suddenly realized their former spouse wanted to be wanted? Um, duh. Independent is great. What was the purpose of the spouse if you're only independent? A pole in the blankets and an occasional person to squish the spiders?
Men and women want essentially the same things in a relationship at a high level. To be needed, desired, respected and cared about. We interpret things differently (so I'm told - lol) but we have similar basic needs from what I've seen. That does NOT make it your fault or responsibility that he left. Do not misunderstand me. He chose to do that. He could have told you he needed something else. He could have done all kinds of things differently and in the end he chose to do what he did. But as you move forward, it's worth a little consideration that needs can be different than what you may have thought.
Just for fun, each person is unique in what they want and need and change their minds frequently over the years. Both men and women, right?
Cheers, AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
We have two kids already, and I'm fixed (mutual agreement years ago). But this was just after her nephew killed himself and I think it was just how she felt at that moment (looking back). Others I know? Similar stories - anything opposite will do. 