Divorce on the table, Hoping for miracle

[Groov]

NM,

I am not going to suggest anything except that you punch your "best friend" in the face!

You said it. A little more history on this. 2 years ago W and my "friend" had an EA for a month. I found out cause of phone records. They talked 20+ hours in a month. We opened it all up and I felt that we cleared the air and made boundaries. Obviously I made a mistake by trusting again. I am very crushed, angry, sad, ect that I am at a place where I am going through this again only now W wants a divorce.

I think there is a time and place for confrontation...but if you are going to continue to DB, then it is not now.

I agree. I am going to continue to DB. Now is not the time to confront. I have told a couple of my support group of my findings and suspicions. One being my mother, I am hoping this has not been a mistake... She has read Divorce Remedy and has been supportive of my DB efforts. I also told a close brother. I hope this does not get back to W. It's hard when I feel so hurt.

I am curious how much you shared with him about DB?? Did you do this in an attempt to help him with his divorce too? Does he confide in you about that?

I shared with him early on that I found Divorce Remedy. He read the section on WAW. Back then when W first left I didn't get the impression that anything was going on between him and W. I even felt that my DBing was making progress until about sept. That is also the same time when My "Friend" Let me know he and his wife were starting the divorce process. I told him I was here for him if he needed. It looks like he chose my W instead of me to confide in and now W is now on the Divorce train.

P.S. What did your DB coach yesterday?

She said it was up to me to confront W. She told me to give no ultimatums, but basically just say that I know... She said to follow my faith and impressions on this. She also suggested a Last resort letter. Also gave the caution about timing. We talked about affairs and shelf life. She says the average affair has a 6-9 month shelf life. We also talked about what I need to keep doing. Talked about cooperating with Divorce but dragging my feet and not driving it.


This is all very hard.... Betrayal from the two closest people in my life...

I am pretty calm about the whole sitch. I don't want to do anything rash or stupid. But it's hard to know what exactly to do if there is anything. I suppose I'll just watch W leave a wake of destruction in our life... My children deserve so much better.

Groov