I don't mean to thread jack here, but 2TH, just because it worked last time, doesn't mean the same thing will work this time.
She's better at doing this to you now, she's more experienced at it now. She also saw that no matter how much work you put in, your both right back to where you were before. Meaning, why try again? the result will probably be the same.
Your basing a lot of your strat on what work YOU did before, maybe your not the one that needs to put in the work this time? Maybe she's not willing to address her own issues, certainly not right now anyways. Some people will just keep living the same cycle over and over, but expecting a different result. It may take 1 marriage it may take 5 for some people.
Just my opinion, but I think your too close, trying to hard to help fix her. You cant. She's going to need to fail on her own if she's ever going to see the changes that need to be made are within herself.
