Hey TG! I have been off the boards for a year.....been facing my sitch and doing the work I needed. I do remember all the kind advice you shared with me, and how your last ex was so much like my W is in her MLC.
I just read this entire thread and I found your words (and other people's too) to be so profound. I love how you got to the place where you knew deep in your soul what your boundariesd are, how you will live in any R, and how to make peace internally with your ex.
I am so glad for you that you found a place to share your newfound wisdom with a new partner. That is so uplifting.
You have come through the black belt school of personal transformation and so many will benefit from knowing your story.
Man words can't describe this experience as I'm sure those of you with children will agree. Just an amazing experience.
It is hard to believe where my life is today and how fulfilling it is considering when I came here and the shape I was in.
Coming back here now and reading and posting makes me remember that this is always work. You never stop growing.
I find things in my life, opportunities to grow every day. And being here with you all helps keep me stay focused on that goal.
This community is very special. Nowhere IRL do I find a concentration of people who possess the life wisdom and healthy perspectives to navigate through life.
Some digging I've been doing lately...
Learning how to not put responsibility for my feelings on others. Blaming others for how they make me feel.
The most powerful part of this is when I get down to owning the emotion like anger it usually means I'm really feeling that with myself then I need to find the weed that caused it and yank it out.
Learned these tools right here.
This has been especially hard to reconcile with my parents as this dynamic has been in place for my whole life.
And it cuts the other way too. I am trying to be mindful not to let others make ME responsible for THEIR feelings.
As a recovering fixer/rescuer this is very good progress and powerful in my life.
I think I will start another thread and keep tilling the soil....
My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am
Congratulations on the birth of your daughter. I bet she's already got you wrapped around her little finger! LOL! I'm so happy for you.
You worked hard, dug deep to better understand yourself and have continued to give amazing advice.
I'm glad you came back to give us an update. Enjoy your little princess. Take the time and truly spend it w/her because she will grow up quicker than a blink and your little one will be all grown up before you know it.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Dude - I am happy for you man! Good bless you and the fam...
Now...about that Key Lime Vodka
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
It is a very amazing thing to look at her and see my W and myself both in this little soul.
I can't remember ever feeling this connected and aware of myself. My SELF.
And sharing my life with someone who is in the same place and values what precious thing it is to be with another person who is committed to living their life the same way.
No BUTS No excuses owning your actions Looking at your fears and not letting them control you Not letting your fears act to control others No mind reading Not lying to yourself or others Taking responsibility for your own feelings Not allowing others to make you responsible for their feelings Living life every moment as the man I am and want to continue to be
So yes LFW. Change yourself.
Not the world.
If there is one word that I would say was the change agent for me it would be
awareness
Because until I became aware of myself, my fears, triggers, habits, crutches etc.
I didn't know to change them or how they affected me.
When I became aware then I no longer desired to be that guy and it became costly to me to live that way.
I found some people didn't fit into my life anymore. They were part of the old me. They saw me still as that guy and treated me that way.
Some relationships were crutches some were dependent.
Letting go of some was difficult. Reframing others was equally challenging.
So as I conclude this thread it occurs to me I had some unknown wisdom when I titled it way back when.
The Salvation Within.
That is where you DO find it.
So with that...please lock this thread.
I'll start another.
My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am
