RealityTrip is back from her voyage into "Me" Land

[RealityTrip]

yeah Bug... thanks. I know. I spewed my vent here so I wouldn't give it to her. I have to use compassion for her since she is physically hurting right now. It's just the wrong time and place to have conversations with her about all of this stuff.

What's best for RT right now?

I don't know. I need to have some serious R discussions with her but I feel like I can't. I'm ready to move forward. She's still stuck in limbo it seems. Granted she tried to get out of it by coming home... but the contact with xAP is indicative of her continued emotional connection.

So I feel like since she is convalescing, that I have to just table everything and step up to get her through this. It feels like I am neglecting myself but I don't see any other option. I can't just leave her to fend for herself. But I'm mad. Honestly... mad more than hurt. It's like... Come On!!!

I know it's over when I say it's over. I wonder if she gets that. She feels so far back on the path... like I've rounded the corner and she just can't keep up.

Do I slow down and wait? I suppose it's all about how much time I am willing to give her. Getting here mentally wasn't easy for me at all... A LOT of HARD WORK... and I wasn't lugging around bags of guilt and shame while trying to do it.

Into my happy place.

I guess I need to calm down and slow down.