Moved Back from Overseas to Figure This Out...

[S4tk]

So what's your plan?

I feel that the revelation of the A is still too fresh for my mind to be making a proper decision. For now, the plan is to keep DBing, doing those 180s, enjoying the kids, being grateful for what I have...at least for the next few weeks.

I have enough of myself to work on, and I have been feeling a measure of happiness working on myself.

I am also stuck with the truth that if I confront her, and if I were to ask her to leave (neither of which I am emotionally prepared to do right now), it will be an angry interaction on her end. I will have to reveal that I checked her phone, which she will then use to route the whole conversation back into the "s4tk is the bad guy" domain.

But one thing I see now - the M (we had) is dead. On her end, she feels that I am dead in an H way. She has mentioned the idea of mourning, like there was a death. On my end, a lot of trust in her has been lost. Maybe something can be rebuilt from the ashes, but I don't think we are there yet.